How
does your gender and sexual identity define you? Find out in this guide for
identity fluidity in the 21st century.
The soul, when
not in human form, is a being of light and energy. It has no gender and no
sexual orientation. Therefore, gender and sexual identities are constructs of
incarnation created for learning purposes. The question, then, is why did each
of us choose our specific gender and sexual orientation for this
lifetime?
I offer fresh
perspectives on gender and sexual identity, including biological, sociological,
and psychological influences with an emphasis on spiritual impacts. Included are
new concepts about gender fluidity and alternative sexual orientations. I have
drawn on years of research and personal experience to create the broadest
perspective of gender and sexual identity compiled in one volume.
Gender and
sexual identity are two of the most basic but powerful aspects of our personal
identity. These are the bedrocks upon which we build our self-concept and the
lenses through which we view the world. Labels are not important but
self-identity is critical to self-empowerment. This book illustrates how our
identities are not set at fixed points but lay along ever-shifting continua.
Here you will discover:
- How gender and
sexual identities are created and why.
- How gender and
sexual identities change throughout one lifetime or over multiple
lifetimes.
- Theories on why
a soul chooses its gender and sexual identity when incarnating.
- The history and
mythology of Two Spirit and Third Gender cultures around the world.
- The real story
of a “boy named Sue”: the my life as a Four Spirit.
If you have
questioned your gender and sexual identity or if you have never questioned your
gender and sexual identity, this book is for you. This book is also for
individuals who want a deeper understanding of gender and sexual identities,
individuals who are improving their self-empowerment through identity ownership,
individuals who are exploring identity fluidity, and students of gender and
sexuality studies.
In Soul Sex, I offer a buffet of perspectives on
gender, sexuality, and identity. You are invited to sample each of the dishes as
food for thought.
Fluidity
is the new identity of the 21st century.
Acceptance
is the new morality.
Self-empowerment
is the new mantra.
CONTENTS OF THE
BOOK
Prologue:
Switcheroo
The Real Story
of a Boy Named Sue
Chapter 1:
Introduction
Welcome to the
Art & Soul of Gender & Sexuality
Chapter 2:
Biology of Gender & Sexuality
The Forces of
Nature
Chapter 3:
Sociology & Psychology of Gender & Sexuality
The Forces of
Nurture
Chapter 4:
Spirituality of Gender & Sexuality
The Forces of
the Spirit World
Chapter 5: The
Energy Body & the Physical Body
The Layers of
Body Consciousness
Chapter 6:
Gender Identity
The
Consciousness of Gender
Chapter 7:
Sexual Identity
The
Consciousness of Sexuality
Chapter 8:
Changing Gender
Transitioning
Gender & Sexual Orientation in One Lifetime
Chapter 9:
Reincarnation
Transitioning
Gender & Sexual Orientation over Multiple Lifetimes
Chapter 10: Two
Spirits & 3rd Gender Cultures
Alternative
Gender & Sexual Identities in Culture
Chapter 11:
Self-Empowerment Support Services
Tools for
Increasing Self-Knowledge & Belief in Self
Epilogue:
Conclusion
Our Journey
through the Sacred & Secular
Appendix:
Reference Tools
Passion Poems:
The Author's Trans*ition Poetry
Inspirational
Quotes
Gender
Diversity Etiquette
Days to
Commemorate Gender & Sexual Identity Diversity
Glossary of
Gender & Sexual Identity Terms
Bibliography
Index
QUOTES
FROM THE BOOK
[Note: Permission to reprint a quote is provided as
long as the source is cited as "Soul Sex: The Alchemy of Gender & Sexuality"
by Drake Bear Stephen. Any other use is prohibited under the copyright
laws.]
ABOUT
GENDER & SEXUALITY
“In Soul Sex, I
am offering a buffet, from soup to nuts, of perspectives on gender, sexuality,
and identity. I invite you to sample each of the dishes as food for
thought.”
“Your genes
determine what’s in your jeans (your biological body) but not what type of jeans
you wear (your psychological identity).”
“The soul, when
not incarnated, is a being of light and energy. It has no gender, no sex, and no
sexual orientation. Gender and sexual identity are constructs of human
incarnation. This means that the states of gender and sexual identity are
created for the sole purpose of learning.”
“Gender
identity is state of mind and not necessarily the physical state of the body. It
drives social role and personal presentation. Sexual identity is a state of mind
that drives the sexual activity of the physical body and the emotions of the
heart.”
“Sexuality and
gender are two of the most basic but powerful aspects of our personal identity.
They are the bedrock upon which we build our self-concept and the lens through
which we view the outer world.”
“A rose is a
rose is a rose. But if a rose could talk, and it said it was not, would it still
be a rose? This is the consciousness of identity.”
“The wonder of
identity builds gender in 12 ways: psychologically, physically, professionally,
mentally, spiritually, emotionally, biologically, legally, financially,
aesthetically, ethically, and socially.”
“Although all
individuals together make up a common tapestry, each of their lives is a unique
and colorful thread. In Soul Sex we examine all of the independent threads of
gender and sexuality to see how they weave together to create a beautiful
textile.”
“Assuming a
gender and sexual identity is not about putting on one outfit and wearing it for
an entire lifetime. As outfits become outdated or outgrown, they can be
discarded for new ones.”
“Gender is the
prism that each one of us perceives others through in this physical world. It is
the most observable quality about an individual.”
“We usually
‘read’ others’ gender from surface clues of the physical body, but an individual
also has a gender energy that is not always as recognizable even though it is
always present.”
“Gender and
sexual identities are not caused but created. The creation of self-identity is
complex, multidimensional, and made up of seen and unseen forces, including:
biological, sociological, psychological, and spiritual
factors.”
“Biology is no
longer destiny due to the advances of Western medicine and surgical techniques.
Now consciousness can power gender identity.”
“There are four
major forces that shape the physical body: your genes, your hormones, time, and
what you think of yourself.”
“21st century
birth announcements should be non-gender specific and announce ‘Congratulations!
It’s a human!’”
“Androgynous,
intersex, and third gender individuals have been present from ancient times to
modern times throughout the world. They are present in mythological and creation
stories from many cultures and religions. Why then is a binary system of gender
and sexual identity still the mainstream model in most
cultures?”
“Non-conforming
gender and sexual identities are gradually being eliminated from the books on
mental disorders because these identities are natural and normal. Social
awakening and subsequent law reforms are in progress to reflect the new
consciousness of personal identity freedom and expression.”
“Picture your
soul as a holographic globe with a continuum of sexual identity acting as
longitude and a continuum of gender identity acting as latitude. Just as you can
live at any longitude and latitude coordinates on Earth, you can be at any
longitude and latitude of identity within the Soul. With free choice and
fluidity of identity available to you at all times, you can spend an entire
lifetime on one point or move from point to point throughout one
lifetime.”
“Gender and
sexuality are fluid and not permanently assigned at birth. It is possible for
individuals to live outside of the two gender boxes of male and female. They can
wake up each day and decide who they want to be at that moment in
time.”
“Don’t assume
that gender identity matches birth assigned sex. Modern etiquette practices
should include asking an individual their preferred name and preferred
pronoun.”
“We need to
adapt our modern language to allow for non-gender specific pronouns that don’t
keep us trapped in the old binary gender system.”
“Indigenous
cultural perspectives that are based on a circular concept that all things are
connected and interrelated seem to embrace the three or more gender
classification systems more easily than Western cultural perspectives that are
based on the linear concept that all things have a polar opposite and act
independently of one another. These linear based belief systems perpetuate the
binary sex system of only two legal gender statuses.”
“Because there
are only two options at present, male or female, in binary gender systems, there
is no place for individuals who have an identity that is both male and female or
at some point between male and female. Yet the number of individuals who do not
identify as either of the two legal choices is steadily on the
rise.”
“Not all
individuals with non-conforming gender identities are the same. Some individuals
have a gender identity that is opposite of their birth assigned sex and take
steps to transition the physical body to match their identity while others may
have a gender identity that is somewhere between the male and female poles.
These individuals make up the third gender.”
“How can people
say it is unnatural to be somewhere between male and female? Picture a beautiful
flower: the petals of its feminine genitalia enshroud the masculine phallus at
its center.”
“Trans*
individuals that live in a binary gender system are pressured to completely
transit from one gender to the other. However, if there were a third gender
option, how many might choose to remain at some identity between the two? How
many truly embody characteristics of both male and female? Would more
individuals be asking for both male and female genitalia? After all, wouldn’t
that be the best of all worlds?”
“Past life
experiences can have a big effect on current gender and sexual identities. In
addition, a soul may change gender and sexual identity from one lifetime to
another. The soul chooses specific identities to experience and learn for the
purpose of growth.”
“The
understanding, welcoming, and acceptance of trans* and intersex individuals as
natural beings would change many lives in profound ways. Gone would be
ostracism, shaming, stigmatizing, discrimination, bullying, and hate crimes
perpetrated just because an individual is considered to be
different.”
“I guess I am
living the Reader’s Digest abridged version of fluid identity. I am a Four
Spirit having lived a straight female-bodied individual; as a lesbian
female-bodied individual; as a straight male-bodied individual; and as a gay
male-bodied individual in one lifetime.”
“A
transsexual’s emancipation proclamation is a custom made body. Surgery is one
small step for a lifetime, one huge step towards freedom.”
“We should
abandon classifying sexuality on the basis of an individual being attracted to
someone like or opposite themselves. Individuals can identify their sexuality
based on the object of their love i.e. andro-loving, gyno-loving, or
pan-loving.”
“A
chameleosexual is an individual whose sexual role is dependent on what the
gender orientation of their partner is. In other words, an individual that is
sexually versatile depending on the gender of their partner.”
“I’m not homo,
hetero, bi, tri, or pan but simply sexual.”
ABOUT
SELF-EMPOWERMENT
“Self-identity
is self-knowledge. Self-knowledge accompanied with self-esteem creates
self-empowerment.”
“If we scuttle
the belief that we are victims, we realize that each of us is so powerful that
we intentionally create our Earth identities for the specific purposes of
learning and experience. The resulting wisdom is a gift to our
soul.”
“No matter who
you are or how you identify, you are exactly who you are supposed to be at this
given moment in time. Your mission, if you so choose to accept it, is to
recognize your self-worth, amplify your self-love, and step into your personal
power.”
“Each one of us
is a prize from the Universe to our Self and from our Self to the Universe. Your
personal prize is as precious as diamonds, more valuable than gold, and the most
beautiful rainbow ever seen.”
“Every
individual has the sacred right to their identity. Identity is complex,
multidimensional, and as unique to each individual as snowflakes are
different.”
“The bottom
line is that all things are possible in the world of energy. And our entire
universe and all its multiple dimensions, known or unknown, consists of
energy.”
“As you heal
old wounds, cancel outdated vows and contracts, and create a luminous Energy
Body, you are free to find the treasure you seek. It may be peace, empowerment,
energy, health, creativity, prosperity, spirituality, or love. But I guarantee
that by the end of your quest, you will find that you are the
treasure!”
“Being
compassionate doesn’t mean you need to walk a mile in my moccasins. It simply
means walk a mile next to me. With respect.”
“Projections
become reflections. The world is a mirror. Use it to your advantage. What
belief, thoughts, words, and actions you project upon its shiny surface is none
other than the very same beliefs, thoughts, words, and actions that are
reflected back to you from others.”
“Like a kid in
an identity shop, I am searching for the Holy Gail, that Wind of Life, on whose
wings I can ride to peace.”
“Self-security
is created by striking a balance of being in a power position (yang energy) and
being in a peaceful place (yin energy).”
“Self-identity
is self-empowerment.”
“The stronger
an individual’s identity is, the more at peace they will be because owning one’s
identity is empowering.”
“Self-empowerment
consists of four steps: 1) Know Yourself. 2) Love Yourself. 3) Be Yourself. and
4) Share Yourself.”
ABOUT
THE SOUL
“Our identities
are created, like the perfect storm, when multiple forces converge on one
physical body in one lifetime. These forces are divided into three aspects: the
Physical (includes nature, hormones, DNA, and genes); the Mental/Emotional
(includes nurturing, family, culture, society, and personality); and the
Spiritual (includes astrology, past lives, karma, pre-life selection, and soul
purpose).”
“In our current
lives not only are we are working on the karma that we created in past lives but
we are creating karma that will affect our future lives.”
“Our inability
to accept differences in others has the power to destroy lives. Furthermore,
karma being what it is, individuals that persecute others because of differences
will be experiencing the other end of that persecution in a future
life.”
“Duality is a
construct where incarnated souls learn from experiencing polar opposites. But
duality is also a spectrum with an infinite number of points between the polar
opposites. We learn balance by traveling along the spectrum until we find the
middle point.”
“What we see
when we look in the mirror is what the world reflects back to us. We get what we
believe we deserve. When we believe we are not good enough or deserve what we
want, we block the flow of abundance, prosperity, and love. The more we love
ourselves the more of our dreams we are able to manifest.”
“The only thing
we can take with us out of this lifetime is the knowledge and wisdom that our
soul acquires. So any gain we make in knowing ourselves will stay with us. These
are the questions to ask in the quest for wisdom: Who am I? Where do I come
from? Where am I going? What is my purpose? What are my gifts?
”
“Perhaps my
soul is really homeless because it has wandered through so many lifetimes in so
many different cultures, creeds, genders, sexualities, and
spiritualties.”
“A predominant
characteristic of older souls is that they come onto the Earth plane with a
sense of knowing. My message to old souls is, don’t let others shame you away
from what you know even when you feel you are in a minority of one. Go with your
gut instinct because it is the truth for you.”
“I was born in
the 1950s where there was only the Black and White Way. There weren’t any Ifs,
Ands, Buts, or Gray Areas allowed. Unfortunately, by the age of six, I knew I
was not fitting in well with the Black and White Way. The 1960s introduced, and
the 21st century is reinforcing, a replacement model for the Black and White
Way. It is an inclusive Shades of Gray Way.”
“Shifting our
perception from static to dynamic enables us to stop thinking in black and white
and start thinking in the colorful multi-shades of the spectrum. This enables
two-dimensional linear models that limit the human experience to transform into
three-dimensional spherical models that are inclusive.”
COPYRIGHT © 2015 DRAKE BEAR STEPHEN. EXCEPT AS
ACKNOWLEDGED. ALL RIGHTS
RESERVED
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